This blog was started January 21st and continued February 1st.
January 21st submission:
Do you every have days that you think your child is perfect, nothing is wrong, they could never have special needs, they will grow up to be a brilliant successful individual and maybe as a parent you were just hypersensitive? We’ve had a particular great couple weeks with my son Roan (even despite the bout of pneumonia) that I just can’t believe he’s “special needs”.
I’ve ridden these highs and lows many times but today I’m just feeling so hopeful that there will be normal days…I love this little person more than life itself.
I hope this is inspiring to those of you having particular bad days as I’ve been there many times.
February 1st submission:
Do you ever have days you quickly wish you could take back what you said because the feel you jinxed it because you said it “out loud”. That happened!
I knew I shouldn’t have written this down in a blog. Shortly after I wrote this the frustration curve was as high as the top of the bell curve at my house again. Roan’s tactile sensitivity is over the top. It’s impossible to get him to cooperate and do anything that involves touching him besides snuggling him up like a baby in my arms. As much as I’d like to do that all day I just can’t . He needs to get up and brush his teeth, get dressed, put on cloths and yes to preschool or OT per his schedule. He cannot lay in bed all day with his blanky, “na na” (pacifier) and mommy and shut the rest of the world out because it’s to prickly or loud. No amount of gummy bears, dum dum lollypops or licorice was working on my sweet little three year old and I am very frustrated. I have another child to care for and a family and life to run. Ahem do you hear me Roan!
Then last night Roan moved away a little bit from the constant “jello and avoidance” state he’s been in at home for a week and half to some wrestling. My sweet boy came alive for awhile and was jumping on me, suffocating me, licking me, smashing his nose on mine and just plain having a good time. He was acquiring his “sensory seeking” activities out on mommy and we were having so much fun.
I’m writing this in two parts because 1) this reminds me to be grateful for the days we have that are “normal” because we do have them and 2) to enjoy those days that Roan is sensory overloaded because someday he won’t want that constant snuggle time. I’m reminding myself that there will be highs and lows and remember he’s special in all ways and to take it as it is and breath. I’m not alone and have this community to share with.
I’m so happy to have a home.