When my son was first diagnosed with SPD, I was torn with what I was going to tell him. After all, he was only 4 at the time and his differences didn’t yet stand out to him as something to be concerned about. But I wanted to do the right thing and I the more I read about how other people were handling it, the harder the right thing seemed.

Do I not tell him because I don’t want him to feel different from other kids or that something is wrong with him? Would that cause him to notice his own differences and think anyway that something is wrong with him? Or do I tell him his issues in order for him to understand why he feels the way he feels? Would this make him feel like a “freak” and lose confidence? It was the catch 22 every parent, even those with “normal” kids face. the question of “how will my actions today affect my child in the future?”

That is such a HUGE load to bear. It is probably one of the top stresses in a parent’s life and the question that affects every action we do as a parent.

The unfortunate situation is that we don’t have an answer to that question. We only have guesses, scientific studies, possibilities, and maybes. Sounds like we’re screwed, right? Maybe.

But, in trying to decide what I should do about my son’s diagnosis, I took a long hard look at myself growing up. I was a little on the strange side. Okay, I was downright weird.

But the thing was, I had confidence in my differences. I felt like the things I did different than everyone else made me special. I had some really good friends growing up and my differernces kept me out of a lot of trouble because I felt very confident saying I don’t want to when “everyone else was doing it”.

So, when I realized that, it made it very clear what I needed to do. Everybody is different. What would the world be like if everyone was the same? But the important thing is that you realize the power of being different and feel good about it.

There is a song called John Lee Supertaster by They Might Be Giants (if you have kids, you seriously need to get the children’s albums by They Might Be Giants. They are awesome). John Lee has super powers that allow him to taste things stronger than other people. Sound familiar? I thought so too and listening to this song one day in the car, I knew what I wanted to tell Calvin.

I told him he had SPD which made him a super hero. Not the kind that can fly or be invisible.  He knows those aren’t real.  But instead I told him he had the power to hear things louder than other kids. He had the power to run around nonstop without getting tired. He had the power to get injured without it really hurting. The power to feel things stronger than others.

When he got the Autism diagnoses I kept with it. I told him he had the power to remember things after hearing or seeing them only a couple times. He had the power see things in ways other people could not see them. The power to notice little differences that others could not see. The power of honesty.

I also told him that there are many other people and kids with super powers like his. That he may not notice them because they hide their powers because they are afraid of being different. Some people have different powers or use their powers differently. And some have learned to control their powers.

All super heroes have to learn how to use their powers so that they don’t cause trouble. Super powers can get away from you and make things difficult if they are used at the wrong times. So the super heroes get other people like occupational therapists, behavioral therapists, speech therapists, and psychiatrists so help them learn how to use their powers and that is why he is not only different, but special.

He knows the terms for what he has, and what they are.  But that goes right over his head.  What he does get is that what he has makes him special and that there is noting wrong with him or anybody else.  We are who we are. We all struggle, and those struggles can make us a better person.

You may argue that I am giving him a false sense of reality. Maybe.

That leads us back to that horrible question on the back of everyone’s minds that I won’t repeat (I’m pretty sure lightening will strike me if I do). All I know is that my kid feels pretty good about who he is and is willing to take the steps to feeling even better. That is all I ask right now.

And someday, maybe my little super hero will change the world.

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