Angel is a funny girl. Routines aren’t very important to her until bedtime. Bedtime is when routines are crucial; if she forgets to brush her teeth, or we don’t sing a song, it will lead to a meltdown.
Angel used to have a hard time settling down to sleep. Our Occupational Therapist had us try putting a heavy blanket on Angel as she was falling asleep to help her settle down. We were supposed to leave it on for only a half an hour and then take it off her. Let me ask, have you ever tried to take a blanket off a child who has just fallen asleep? More often than not, we ended up waking her up. On the nights we did get the blanket off, we’d go in later to check on her and find that she had pulled it back on. Back to the drawing board.
As we learned about making a sensory diet, we were adding more heavy input activities into Angel’s day. We made sure to give her the chance to move. We gave her lots of big tight hugs, making sure to hold her close. And that is what led to our new bed time routine.
Angel changes into her jammies, brushes her teeth and takes care of toileting. Then it’s time to be tucked in. After she gets her hug and kiss from her big sister, it’s time to be layered under the blankets. Summer and winter, Angel likes to have lots of blankets piled on her. We sing a lullaby (usually it’s “The Water Buffalo Song” from Veggie Tales), then she gets a hug and a kiss. The next part may seem unorthodox, but it works for Angel–whichever parent is tucking her in will give her a squish. Squishing was something that really happened as a last resort one night to help Angel settle down. Once we realized that it worked, we incorporated it into our bedtime routine.
We always ask her if she’d like a squish. If she needs the input (and she almost always does), she says yes. On the odd occasion, she may say no. A squish is an extra big hug, with lots of pressure. It’s a great way to help her get the input she needs to help her fall asleep. Now that she can talk more, Angel tells us when she needs a bigger squish “more” or less of a squish, “no more”.
What I’ve learned is that there’s a lot of trial and error when it comes to finding the right sensory inputs for Angel. Just because one thing doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean that something else won’t work. Something might work one day and might not work the next, but it’s just a matter of trying different solutions. Now that she is better able to communicate verbally, Angel is part of the process as well. She’s able to tell us if she does or doesn’t like something or if she wants to try something new. The whole family becomes involved in finding solutions, and we learn a lot about Angel’s needs as we go.
Comments
Karla (Mom2Kaia)
Wow, Jess. I hear ya on the bedtime routine. If we deviate even a little bit, there is nothing that is going to get Kaia to sleep — short of me or daddy laying on the floor beside her bed. So nice to hear that we’re not alone in our “strange” bedtime rituals!
JulieA
Excellent article!!
Jess
Thanks Karla and Julie!
I have to say that bedtime has gotten a lot easier as Angel’s language has improved. It is much easier to change things when she can verbalize what is wrong (of course, when she is really upset, all vocabulary goes out the window!). It can still be a challenge, but we just go with the flow and adapt as we need to.
Hollie
My daughter is the same way- but she asks for a really ‘hard tickle’ first, then the biggest most squeeziest hug ever. Then she is ready to sleep!
She asked us for this even before we knew about SPD. When I began to read about it, all these things she asked us for made so much sense!
Heather @ nobody-but-yourself
Here at our house, it is the “Mommy Blanket” for squishing at bedtime. I lie across the kid (not bearing *all* my weight on her or she’d *REALLY* be squashed) and lean on top of her being a “blanket” to give her the deep pressure. We also play “Lumpy Mattress” where I pretend she’s not in the bed and I lie down on it and then feel how “lumpy” the mattress (really her) is and then I “smooth it out” by stroking across her back, arms and legs.
Lastly, our kiddo sleeps under/with a MILLION stuffed animals. She has a leopard that is as big as she is and more often than not, when we go in to check on her a few hours after she’s fallen asleep, she’s got him on top of her. (She’s also crazy sweaty from being buried underneath him and the other “guys” too!)
Ah, the things we do for our SPD kiddos!
Martianne
We, too, have found routines and heavy stuff help.
My son loves a big heavy blanket I have had for years, which he has taken as his own and often asks me to tuck him tightly into. Often, cuddling with his sister helps, too.
Besides that, we have found success for him and his sister in our 5 T’s as a routine (printable at http://traininghappyhearts.blogspot.com/2011/03/routines-and-rhytms-5-ts-for-bedtime.html)
dawn
Squishing is a regular part of every routine in this house–for me too! My son likes a good squish or an extra strong hug. and i have what i call the “jimmy legs” (restless leg syndrome) and i find a good squish usually calms them down too! Squish squish squish!