I’ve been in a particular month of very stressful low ends of the of the bell curve with Roan. He’s becoming more and more difficult for me to handle. I’d say some of it is being three years old but a lot of it is he is changing and I need support changing with his changing body.
Transition has always been very difficult for Roan. Anything different in his routine is very difficult for him to handle and getting him to change activities (from eating to changing clothes, getting from the house to the car..etc.) takes a lot of time and patience on my part. I’m struggling with finding the right technique and patience to work with him. I’m doing it but it’s completely wearing me out and every activity can take a long time. For example the other day it took me two hours to get him to pre-school and it was a disaster.
I thought I might have some magic solution if 1) we made some changes based on his OTs recommendations and 2) he went in special education per his psychologist recommendation on his IEP two days a week. He’d get the tools he needed (and so would I) in turn resulting in a little more patience for both of us. Then of course we hit a HUGE IEP roadblock. That’s a story for another blog.
After his IEP meeting, I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me and there weren’t any options available for him in the immediate term. Sitting in my office at 5am and I keep thinking how “patience is definitely not my virtue” but I’m not giving up on finding what works for Roan. I look up on the shelf on my desk and see this book called “Strength Finder 2.0 from Tom Rath.
Strength Finder 2.0 is a book (one of many) I used when I was working in the corporate world that comes with a framework that helps identify what an individual is good at. It has 34 themes (or characteristics) that an individual can be characterized into and highlights four strength areas for you based on a quiz you take. Once your characteristics are highlighted it talks about it and then identifies “ideas for actions” and “how to work”.
The reason I bring up this book is it was staring at me as I sat down to write about not having patience and Roan’s struggles. So of course I picked it up and started scanning through the characteristics I remember I fell into. ARRANGER, BELIEF, CONNECTEDNESS & RELATOR. So basically to sum them all up for me: I face complex situations and come up with solutions in creative manners. I have a very strong belief system that can’t be “rocked. I connect with “chosen” individuals I can relate with and have similar passions in life. With my “chosen” few I have life long relationships and would do anything for them.
When I look at this book it reminds me that even though I haven’t been feeling patient, I know it’s a result of the fact that my current plan didn’t work and I need a new one. So I go back to the actions page and some up with a new plan of attack for Roan based on my reminded strengths….:) The book put me back on track.
So if you’re a parent that works away from the home or in the home caring for your children, I definitely recommend this framework and book. It’s not for just working or corporate individuals. Anyone can find or be reminded of their strengths. It helped me to remember that even though “patience is not my virtue” I have to refocus with my strengths and be patient to get to the next chapter.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED.