I shared this story on my blog and got good feedback. Then I realized there may be a lot of parents and children out there who could benefit from this story that will never read my blog, so I changed it a bit and brought it over here to SPD Blogger Network, too. I hope it helps!
All children have times of anxiety, whether it’s fear of the monster under the bed, or worrying mommy might not return from the grocery store. Unfortunately, for most kids with sensory processing challenges, their level of anxiety is high most of the day, every day.
Having learned the benefits of deep-breathing for myself, I have tried to get Dr. J to use it. No such luck. Then I heard a suggestion to have your child pretend she was blowing bubbles or blowing out a candle. That did work a bit.
Then the other day, a moment of genius. Actually, I guess I should say God gave me a moment of grace. Dr. J was extremely crabby and pouty. He would not stop yelling at Meatball to leave him alone, even when Meatball was not even talking to him! I was feeling helpless and frustrated.
I took Dr. J into my room to try to help him calm, and maybe get a glimpse into why he was so crabby for the day. I told him, “Let’s blow out some birthday candles.” Of course he didn’t want to, and thought it was dumb. He laughed a bit, you know one of those irritated kind of laughs.
Then the moment. I FINALLY figured out a way to get Dr. J to participate in deep breathing:
competition
Dr. J absolutely cannot stand to lose. I think a big part of it is from his literal spectrum mind–when you play a game, the goal is to win, so you simply MUST win. So, thanks to God’s kindness, the thought occurred to me, and I said, “See if you can blow longer than Mommy.”
it worked
Again, he kind of thought it was stupid at first, but that drive to win could not be tamped down long! He just HAD to beat me! Sometimes he giggled, too. And for a few minutes, he wasn’t crabby.
Today while I was on the phone I mentioned to my mom “I’m getting frustrated” about the kids’ fighting. Dr. J heard those words and said, “Mom, if you’re getting frustrated you need to blow out some candles!” Wow, a few days of trying this is at least getting the idea in his mind! It took me two years to figure this out. Hmmm, I wonder what I’ll discover in 2013?
Do you have any calming techniques for kids that have worked for you? Please share so I don’t have to wait another two years!
Comments
stephenie
What a great idea. I am going to have to try it out with my little guy.
Jenny
I hope it helps, Stephenie! I figure, if nothing else it’s a possible distraction/defuser, right?
Heather Finnegan
Love it!!!! Things that I need to remember more! We all need a little Grace sometimes
Josie
I’m going to have to try this one. Thanks!
Jules
What a great idea!! I will definitely be trying this very soon. I tried to get my 4yr old to try some deep breaths, but he wouldn’t do it…this may be the way to get it done!! Thanks again!
Jennifer
That is a great idea! My son LOVES to blow out birthday candles! I also read on a site for parents with special needs kids(About.com)that giving your child a huge bear hug and holding him/her for a minute or so can help calm them down. I tried it with my son and it does seem to help a little bit.
our-perfectly-imperfect-life.blogspot.com
Love it! I will definitely have to try that with my daughter the next time she is stressed or grumpy! Thanks for sharing…
Bek
Like Jennifer said, just hugging and holding my child seem to calm him quickly most of the time. I also take him into my arms and just let him cry it out, especially as the pressures of the week mount. Pressure or weight are general tactics that make a difference. We love our weighted blanket and while we rarely use the weighted vest, it comes in handy when he is anxious or active and we HAVE to go somewhere.