Ooooh where do I start venting?! In all honesty, I have to say I have come to the realization that people are not always meant to be in our lives, and I have an easy time accepting that. Even when they are our own family.
I have had this discussion I am about to embark on with other mothers of special needs children, so I know very well that I am not in any way alone, but it still is quite frustrating! My sister (who has no kids, nor has any comprehension of special needs) has gotten quite pissy over my blog. I did not know this until I asked why she is not returning my calls and she emails me back saying because I am looking for people to feel sorry for me over my blog about Danny and I shouldn’t be posting it to my FB wall. She continued to tell me when she called to see if things were ok after reading a blog and I told her this is normal it apparently offended her.
Wait … This blog is about our everday struggles, that are typical of children like Danny. Sorry I offended or disrupted your pretty world with my reality.
Then she went on to tell me how I should not be having another child with a son like Danny and I better hope he doesn’t smother her with a pillow. Well, that was the delete button on my relationship with my sister who I see every 7 years anyway, since we live in different states.
When someone has no children, nor has no comprehension of raising special needs children they really should think about the things that come out of their mouths. But, I expect nothing less from the ignorance is bliss crowd. I am not really heartbroken over it either. If what I post in my blog offends you, consider not reading it any time.
If you are still reading, then, well, I guess you read at your own feelings personal expense, because I do not blog for anybody, except myself. As a parent of a special needs child, we often do
very little for ourselves, so I do not make any apologies. This is OUR reality. Needless to say my husband was just astonished at this whole situation and said he was glad it was my family and not his! I had to laugh at that comment. I love his simplicity.
I honestly know that this kind of thing is something that many families face in our shoes. Often times their family members do not know how to comprehend their child’s needs and falling outs happen. It is not my place to have to worry about those other people. My place is with my son, the one who is being attacked and insulted by the comments about watching him so he
does not smother his baby sister with a pillow. I am saddened that my own family has to sink so low. We deal with the stares from strangers, the little whispers and even comments at times. But we should not have to deal with it from those who we believe to love our children.
But, this is not the 1st family member I have had to make this kind of detachment from. My mom could not comprehend Danny’s disabilities and she would do things that we told her not to
around him that would make him upset. And she would say that the doctors are wrong and he will just outgrow it and downplay the situation. Finally Sean and I decided she was not helping, nor willing to accept the situation for what it was. So, I have been here before. Sean and I both agree that Danny is our priority and if people do things to attack him or insult him we just have to
pull away from them because it is our job to protect him first. I do have to say luckily it is not a problem we have faced with Sean’s family. I am grateful for their acceptance and respect.
Something I have learned in life is that we can not control others actions, only our own. No more, no less.