Murphy’s Laws of Special Needs Parenting…
1. If you think you have 3 hours to yourself, your
child will have a meltdown at school and have to come home early.
child will have a meltdown at school and have to come home early.
2. If your oldest is a sensory seeker, your
youngest will be a sensory avoider.
youngest will be a sensory avoider.
3. If you dress your child in a button down shirt
for pictures, they will chew the buttons off before you get to the photographer.
for pictures, they will chew the buttons off before you get to the photographer.
4. If your child will eat spaghetti it at the OT’s
office, he still won’t eat it at home.
office, he still won’t eat it at home.
5. If you say ‘Don’t play in the hose’, your child
will flood the bathroom.
will flood the bathroom.
6. If you put your child to bed early, he will be
up until midnight playing Legos.
up until midnight playing Legos.
7. If you put your child’s shoes on to leave the
house in a hurry, he will take them off before you even find your purse.
house in a hurry, he will take them off before you even find your purse.
8. If you wear a white shirt, your child will get a
bloody nose.
bloody nose.
9. If you ask your child to use the restroom before
leaving the house, he will still have an accident on the way to the park.
leaving the house, he will still have an accident on the way to the park.
10. If you clean up the hotwheels cars lined up on
the staircase, your child will have an hour long meltdown that you messed up
the ‘race’.
the staircase, your child will have an hour long meltdown that you messed up
the ‘race’.
11.
If you convince your child’s teacher to allow
your child a fidget toy, she’ll go on maternity leave.
If you convince your child’s teacher to allow
your child a fidget toy, she’ll go on maternity leave.
12.
If you make a detailed visual schedule for your
child’s first birthday party, the party plans will change.
If you make a detailed visual schedule for your
child’s first birthday party, the party plans will change.
13.
If you take the day off of work to attend your
child’s fieldtrip, they’ll change the date.
If you take the day off of work to attend your
child’s fieldtrip, they’ll change the date.
14.
If you have time to take a shower today, your
child will dump out the bean tub, empty the shaving cream cans and draw in
Sharpie marker all over his walls to make sure you don’t get to shower tomorrow.
If you have time to take a shower today, your
child will dump out the bean tub, empty the shaving cream cans and draw in
Sharpie marker all over his walls to make sure you don’t get to shower tomorrow.
15.
If you clean your child’s room, he will insist
it now feels ‘too big’.
If you clean your child’s room, he will insist
it now feels ‘too big’.
16.
If you make your child’s bed, he will insist on
sleeping on the ground.
If you make your child’s bed, he will insist on
sleeping on the ground.
17.
If you wash your child’s favorite stuffed animal
or blanket, he will have a meltdown because it doesn’t smell right.
If you wash your child’s favorite stuffed animal
or blanket, he will have a meltdown because it doesn’t smell right.
18.
If you make a special holiday dinner, your child
won’t come downstairs because of the smell.
If you make a special holiday dinner, your child
won’t come downstairs because of the smell.
19.
If you hire a babysitter, your child will start
to throw up the moment you’re wearing heels.
If you hire a babysitter, your child will start
to throw up the moment you’re wearing heels.
20.
If you buy anything with High Fructose Corn
Syrup, fake dye, or allergens of any sort, your child will find it – and eat
ALL OF IT.
If you buy anything with High Fructose Corn
Syrup, fake dye, or allergens of any sort, your child will find it – and eat
ALL OF IT.
Comments
DRS_Are_Best
I especially LOVE number 4…..I can’t tell you how many things school says my Ballerina eats but she won’t come NEAR it when she’s home. I swear, if I didn’t see things like that when I observed her, I would swear her teachers were telling tales. And I can’t like #14…..it’s just too true!
Patty
Number 4 is why we eventually quit driving 1.5 hours to feeding therapy. He would eat it there, but not at home, and the therapist wasn’t doing anything different from what I do at home.
And the 2 kids with different sensory issues. Check!
Along with the kid who tears apart the house while you’re showering. Double check!
These are hysterically spot on, Hartley!
Sybil
These are great! I can most recently identify with numbers 7 and 17…
ReinventingMommy
Number 4 happens all the time with us. They’ll rave about what Jack eats at therapy, only for him to scream bloody murder and go into a full meltdown if he even sees it at home! I’m glad I’m not the only one, because his therapists look at me like I’m crazy when I say that he won’t carry the new foods over at home.
Number 19 has happened a few times, too. My MIL always tries to buy me nice clothes for my birthday/Christmas, and I always tell her not to bother, but she doesn’t understand that the second that I put on anything white and/or dry-clean only, it will be thrown up on.
Rae
#7 and #10 are my favorites. My house looks like it’s inhabited by toy-hoarding elves, but heaven forbid I touch anything! Thanks for the laugh.
Yormond
11 is hilarious…We were just talking about the fidget toy issue for the long bus ride to school another mom and I yesterday. We had a teacher disagree to it, then agree and then the teacher and bus driver changed…LOL
Genia
I love it !! Definitely number 1 .. It’s the truth
EHCMom
How true! I’m on board with 5 and 9.