For children with sensory issues, sometimes the world can just be too much. It is too loud. Too bright. Too crowded. Too hot. There is too much sensory input to process and too little time to take in the assault on their senses. It can be easy to get caught up in the rush when you are out in the world, both for fun and for errands. There are times when things simply have to get done in a certain time frame, but there are others when it is okay to take a deep breath and go a little slower than usual.
My daughter is easily overwhelmed by crowds and by noise, but she still enjoys trips to the petting zoo or beaches or museums. I can’t change the world for her, as much as I would like to at times. I can’t keep her away from the world either, because there is just too much to experience. But we can take it slowly. We can experience the world at her own pace and her comfort level. I try to avoid the busiest times at her favorite places, but things don’t always go according to plan.
There is a local splash park that she loves to visit. It is zero immersion, sprawling, and colorful with all different types of sprayers. An amused attendant dubbed my daughter “the driest child here” when we had been there for over half an hour without her going under any of the sprayers. She loves water but doesn’t like the sensation of the water spraying on her. The water comes out too hard and too fast. It was also a very busy day. The parts of the splash park that she liked best were too crowded for her to be comfortable. While all the other kids and babies splashed and squealed under the jets of water, she skirted the edges and splashed her feet in puddles. They ran while she meandered. They were soaked while she was dry. But like the other kids, she was happy and having fun.
She wasn’t using the splash park the way she was “supposed to,” but she was enjoying it at her own pace and in her own way. On slower days, she goes deeper into the splash park. With fewer kids, there is less of a risk of her getting bumped into or splashed on. She is happy to go in the water on cooler days that keep the other kids away, and she never seems to feel the cold. She likes letting the gentler flow of the water in the water tables run over her fingers.
So we take things slowly and enjoy things the way we can. Planning ahead is helpful but can only do so much. When we have the time to dawdle, it helps to let her go slowly and explore the world in a way that doesn’t threaten and overwhelm her. The more we explore familiar places, the more comfortable she becomes the next time she returns. A little less uncertainty helps her in the future on those days when everything is just a little too much, and she needs to take it slow.
Comments
Susan S.
I love that you just let her be and do her thing. I know so many people that would be forcing their child to get wet, to be splashed by the jets of water, because they are uncomfortable by their child not being like everyone else.
MamaMeerkat
I figure that there are so many other times in her life that she has to things that are uncomfortable or unpleasant that she should get time to just enjoy herself.
danielle
I am unfortunately one of those parents. Or at least will adjust myself to saying “used to be one of those parents”. I have not gotten a formal diagnosis but when I read “Sensory Checklists” to see how my daughter holds up against the disorder she has about 85% of the symptoms of this disorder. Anyway getting back to what I was originally saying, I “used” to be one of those parents. After reading this post I am determined to relax and let my daughter do things at her own pace and do what she’s comfortable doing. Thanks so much for posting this.
Genevieve
Thanks for the reminder to allow my child to do things at his own pace.
My son loves bath time, and being in the wading pool at home. However, I remember the first time we went to the local indoor pool. He was SOOOOO excited when he saw it from the window. He just stared at the water. He was 2, and this was way before we had a diagnosis. I remember the minute we walked into the pool and how he immediately freaked out at the noise from the echo that indoor pools have. The fear in his eyes when he looked at the water. I didn’t get it. I picked him up and waded into the water. He screamed and clutched onto me. I didn’t get it. I sat in the water and could feel him tremble. I almost got out, but then I felt him start to relax in my arms. He put his head on my shoulders and just sat there clinging to me. I tried putting him down, he would have nothing of that. Looking back at this memory I feel guilty for not understanding his needs. He still loves the water. When we go to the water park I now let him go at his own pace. When I want to go into the deeper waters I allow him to cling to me. He wants to go deeper – but with me holding on to him. It is funny watching how he and his little sister play on the same equipment. She goes up and down the water slide a million times, while he stands by my side and lets the water sprinkle on his hands. I have learned to let him take the water at his own pace. I hope to someday get both kids into swim lessons – but I know that while my daughter will jump into the deep end, he will wade in – at his own pace.
MamaMeerkat
My daughter really loves water too, but definitely only at her own pace. Don’t be too hard on yourself! You know things now that you didn’t before.