My sister has said that I am very “mother hen”. One of my friends has told me that I am a definite “mama bear”. I think they’ve got the wrong animal.
I’m a mad elephant. I admit it and I’m trying to change for the better.
You’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about aren’t you? Like almost all mothers, I am extremely defensive when it comes to my baby. I’ve always been fairly confident and very thick skinned, so people’s thoughts and opinions about me have never phased me. You can say anything you want about me and it will take a lot to get a rise out of me. On the other hand, I’ve always been very defensive about my family. I can talk badly about them, because hey I’m family. But it you dare say anything about them, it won’t end well.
Obviously that instinctive protector role was magnified by a million the moment that my little Kaleb Monster came into the world. He’s the boy who literally saved my life. I spent so many nights crying, begging, praying and hoping for this little monster. How could I not want to protect him?
I admit, sometimes I get a little (okay a lot) crazy. I’m working on it though. Daddy Monster is definitely my #1 help when it comes to this. He’s calm and logical when I’m impulsive and insane. Most recently one of our conversations via text went like this:
Him: Some kids came up to Kaleb at the playground today, they were trying to talk to him, he didn’t respond and they said “what the hell is wrong with him, why can’t he talk” :’(
Me: Did you kick the crap out of them?
Him: Honey… they were about five years old..
Me: Fine, then kick the crap out of their parents.
Him: They’re here with their grandma crazy lady. I’m not beating up an old lady.. or anyone. Kaleb’s fine, Kaleb’s happily going up and down the slide. It’s no big deal.
Me: ARGH! I hate mean kids
I’m pretty sure I’d be this crazy regardless of the challenges that Kaleb faces. Who knows maybe the “special needs” label makes me even more defensive. It’s hard to tell. All I can imagine is people being mean about my baby boy for being different and I go a little nuts.
Wonder where the “Mad Elephant” comes into play?
This is what I picture in my head.
The Mad Elephant was just trying to protect her son.
I’m not at all a violent person, I wouldn’t exactly beat some one up for being mean to Kaleb. Though I admit I probably will probably envision myself doing so in my head. I will however become furious, I will snap at people, I will hold it against them, I will shut people out if I feel I need to. I’ve never been a fan of anyone being mocked or mistreated for any reason.
But don’t worry, I haven’t resorted to violence in many many years. Little known fact, I gave an eight grade boy a bloody nose in middle school. I was a perfect, quiet, sweet little honor roll student at the time, so I didn’t get into any trouble. In my defense he deserved it. Some kids in middle school used to mock the O.T.C. kids. O.T.C. stands for Occupational Training Center, it was all special needs students with varying disabilities. They joked about O.T.C. standing for “Only The Crazy” and he happened to start mocking my autistic cousin, so I punched him.
Punching him seemed like an appropriate response at the time. Now I’m a grown up, I know violence isn’t the answer. I don’t want to let these things get to me. Everyone comes across jerks and bullies at one point or another. I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that I can’t protect him from miniature bullies at the playground or dirty looks at the grocery store. I can however raise him to have great self esteem and to realize that he is an amazing little guy.