We all have foods we don’t like. Everyone does. Lately, though, I have begun to see eating, or lack of, on a continuum. Here are the categories, which I have named: preferential, picky, and restrictive eating.
Based on my definition, most people would fall in the preferential eating category. We all have foods we don’t like, but there may only be a handful of them. Some of us may not like many vegetables, choose not to eat meat, or not like the flavors of a certain type of cuisine. We have preferences.
The next stop on the continuum is picky eating. A picky eater would be someone like myE. She has always been more choosy about what she would eat, even with baby food. Picky eaters are the ones that, although there are foods they don’t like, the list of those foods is shorter than the list of foods that they will eat. And, while there are many things picky eaters won’t eat, there is usually a pattern or reason for their choices. It may be the texture or flavor of certain foods that they don’t like. Although it is difficult to have a picky eater in the family, there are options and ways around it.
Then, there’s O. He’s is what I would call a restrictive eater. Restrictive eating occurs when the list of things you like is much shorter than the list of things you don’t. And, while this aversion to certain foods could be based on texture or taste, it might also be based on color, size, shape, etc.
One example…O will only eat penne pasta. Even though all pasta tastes the same no matter what the shape, he will only eat penne. The same is true for chicken nuggets. Owill only eat nuggets a specific brand of dinosaur-shaped nuggets or those from McDonalds. This is what I would call restrictive. This is one of the biggest daily challenges for O, and for me too.
Another thing that makes a difference for O is the temperature of the food. It can’t be too hot or too cold. And, this can change. Things he ate straight from the refrigerator last week, he may need warmed up a bit this week.
Choosing not to eat specific foods based on these criteria does not make sense to most of us. For those of you who are thinking, “She is exaggerating” or “Surely, he would eat if was really hungry,” read this article. One of my friends, who is also a sensory-mama, posted a link to it on Facebook recently. It explains restrictive eating beautifully.
One of the biggest concerns about the restrictive eating is nutrition. Is O’s body getting all that it needs to function adequately? Even though O is growing, has continued to maintain a healthy weight, and his brain is developing, it is still a concern in the back of my mind. On the positives side, on O’s list of preferred foods are a variety of fruits and milk!
What can make this food struggle even more difficult is when the store is out of the brand of chicken nuggets that he will eat. I’ve tried other brands, but they were “too squishy” or “smelled funny” and he refused to eat them. It is also difficult to go out to eat spontaneously, unless we go to McDonalds, which is the only restaurant where O will eat food that was not brought in his lunch box.
I’m convinced that even though O doesn’t eat that many foods, he thinks about food more than the rest of us do. For us, food is just food. It’s not a stressor. There’s nothing about it that causes us anxiety. But for him, there clearly is.
What can I do? Will this always be an issue?
Even though it’s something that causes him anxiety, we have to work on it, eventually. He is being introduced to and trying new foods at preschool. This is difficult for him, but he does it, shaky hands and all. I have been gathering resources on this topic for the past several months, mostly about how to introduce new foods and approach this whole issue of eating. I think I have enough information to get started. It will be a long process and there are multiple steps. But, I think I’m ready. Maybe.
Comments
Jen
We have both Picky & Restrictive eaters combined in both of our kids. To say they are sensory eaters is putting it mildly.
I have become a short order cook and I am that waitress that often returns meals to the kitchen to make it to their specification or change it all together. Many would ask why? It’s because I am their mom, it’s because I too fear that with knowing how restrictive their dietary intake is, I know that they are getting little to no nutrition. Hence, I have become “that mom” who will do anything for their kids. I am that mom with the $1200/ month food budget because lets just face it, I can not stand eating that same food day in and day out.
With all of that being said, we have been in feeding therapy for close to 2 yrs now. There is a good way about helping our kids to try new foods. Let me share the some of the things we’ve learned along the way.
#1 rule…NEVER introduce a new food at Mealtimes! If you truly want your child to eat, don’t dare do this. You will fail every time!
#2…With following rule #1, set up a time to play with food as a family. Also set a timer, allowing the kids to know when this torture session will end. Anywhere between 5 – 15 minutes is a good start. Increase as the child allows, pushing along the way as you see fit as the parent. Expect gains and losses along the way!
#3…Choose a color group. If starting out with greens, then choose an green apple, green grape, piece of broccoli, green bean, etc. Select a variety of textures of greens. But keep it simple, don’t overwhelm the kids. This is going to be highly stressful for them.
#4…This will work against everything you were ever taught and heck, it just might bring on some flashback of when you were caught playing with your food as a child, it’s time to play.
Just get your child to hold the item. With no expectation that they will even bring it near their mouths.
You need to break the barrier and allow them to explore the food item.
Keep a bowl near by. For used food items. We called our our rocket bowl. (if the kid chooses to put it in their mouths, they can spit it out rocket style. Or for easy clean up. Just always have a bowl.
Things to do during this activity would be things like, race a green bean on a car around the table, set up a track, etc.
Use apple sauce or pudding as paint. Allowing the child to see the variety of textures the food can make as a painting.
Build a fort using toothpicks and food. Or a garage for their cars, maybe a castle for a Princess, work with what ever your child is interested in.
#5…This next session should be only deployed after your child feels entirely comfortable with holding the food item.
Slowly think of ways to get the food closer to the child’s mouth. See how many peas you can stack on your arm and balance them.
Or tickle your arms with broccoli. Roll peas down your arm into the bowl.
Once you have gained success with your child’s comfort in this area, it’s time to move onto the next.
#6. Kissing the food. Yes, I said kissing. This is slowly introducing the food item to their mouths.
#7. Licking the food. Let the kids pretend they are dogs who lick everything.
#8. Chewing and spitting. If you can get your child to try chewing the food, don’t expect that they will swallow it. Allow them to spit it into the rocket bowl. If they choose to swallow it, then consider it a victory!
#9. Food races to tummy. See who can chew it completely (not too fast) but then swallow it down. Show them how to point out the food from their lips to their necks to their tummies. Allow your child to win at first…then build on challenging them as you win also.
#10. Always present a food item the like. Or sauces they prefer, cheese, ketchup, etc. Lets face it, if the child will eat broccoli only with ketchup, who cares? The child is eating broccoli! I always kept their favorite drinks near by as well.
We have gained successes by using this strategy. We have also bribed and that has worked. I simply don’t care how many Lego sets it as cost us my boys are finally eating something more than chicken nuggets and chocolate chips!
I have also created a mealtime PEC sheet. I took pictures of foods I know they will eat. And allow them to choose what the want by moving it from the selections to “Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner” areas. This cuts out the pressure of “Answering”. This worked for us, so it got laminated! LOL.
I never thought of eating as a stressful event, but my boys have shown me differently. But I stand firm on my commitment to help them become successful eaters. It takes 20 times to make a habit form. What is 20 days of my time if it provides them with a lifelong love for a new food?
I wish you all success for you little ones too!
Sybil
Thank you so much Jen! It’s great to hear what others have tried and is working. I have printed out your comment and will add it to all of my other research. Need to start this soon!
Susan S.
Fantastic info Jen! And Sybil, I feel for you. My son is luckily only in the picky eater category. With his heightened sense of smell, comes a heightened sense of taste. He can’t handle hot food- must be room temp or a little bit warm. When he was young, I would have him check out (touch, smell, taste) a new food. And if it was offensive, he could refuse it. Often times, he would get as far as putting it into his mouth and maybe have a chew or two before spitting it out. And there are definitely some textures he doesn’t like.
Lately, it’s becoming a challenge to keep school lunch interesting because my guy doesn’t like sandwiches or a host of other things that I would pack as a cold lunch.
For me, there are entire categories of food I can’t stand, because, to me, they stink: seafood. I can’t stand shellfish or fish otherwise (or seaweed), because of the smell. And, I can’t stand legumes (beans, peas) except for green beans and pea pods, and I think that one is a combo of taste and texture.
Good luck with O.
ReinventingMommy
Restrictive eater here, too.
Have you tried feeding therapy? Granted, my kiddo has oral-motor problems in addition to the sensory issues, but feeding therapy has worked wonders for my kiddo. My kiddo eats about 7 foods now. A year and a half ago, he was eating 3, and they were all purees. He also vomited and gagged with most meals. We’ve actually come a long way.
We do something called “food chaining” in our house, where we gradually introduce new foods that vary slightly from the preferred. Say that your child only likes McDonald’s French fries. We’ll move to, say, Wendy’s French fries next. Then maybe we’ll move to homemade French fries. Then to Sweet Potato Fries or potato wedges. Then to hashbrowns. Then to mashed potatoes. You get the idea.
With each step, we don’t push him to “take a bite”. We start with him looking at a food. Then, he can touch it with a utensil. Then we move to fingers. From there, he can mash it, or put it to his face. The next step is moving to his lips and then getting him to touch it to his tongue. From there, he can put it in his mouth. Each step is not forced – he can do what he is comfortable doing.
Good luck to you. I know just how stressful it can be to watch your child struggle with feeding issues.
Sybil
Thanks for your input! I love all these ideas!! Unfortunately, we don’t have feeding therapy available to us. When we had OT services, our focus was simply on touching different textures and just being around food he didn’t eat. At least now he will touch food that he doesn’t like (mostly to move it to another location) and will even pick out his preferred food from a “trail mix”! I have to keep reminding myself that he is further along now than he was a year ago. Just seems like a slow process.
BeckyG
My son (3) changes between being restrictive and picky. Add to this the complication of food allergies, and eating is a struggle for us. The only things I can count on him eating are things he shouldn’t have, but sometimes on the hard days, I let him because I feel better if he at least eats something. It’s such a balancing act, and different every day. Thanks for posting.