It was one of the first things we learned about in our Search for Solving Simon, and one that worked frequently and right away. And yet, it’s one thing that’s hardest for me to remember. I don’t know what kind of magic they hold, but for us, transition objects work.
It started with OT at three years old, when the therapist had Simon roll a ball from the gym out to the waiting room to stop his not-wanting-to-leave meltdowns. I thought he was simply young enough to be fooled into thinking we were still playing and he didn’t actually have to leave, but it’s kept working, and now at five years old, he has even suggested the transition object strategy himself.
We discussed one evening a few months ago how to get him to stop fighting when it was time to sit down for dinner, and he suggested bringing along a train. We wrote on the schedule, and tried it out. It worked. When one of us parents or Simon himself remembers to do it, he brings a train from the table and sits down, whine-free. Sometimes he’s fine without the train, sometimes he’s not fine and we forget the train, but when he’s not fine and someone remembers to trundle a train over, he’s content. One recent evening he was wailing from outside, desperately wanting to avoid coming in to dinner. I asked him if he wanted to pick a train to bring to the table, but guessing that it might not be quite enough to smooth things over, I added the option for me to pick one out and surprise him. He chose the surprise. While he did end up switching for a different train to sit next to his plate, the transition object with, added options, worked beautifully, and he came inside without a hint of dismay.
He brings his ‘guys’ (blanky, kitty, mousey) into the car to transition to school, the train to the dinner table, and uses reading a short story to transition from play time to getting ready for bedtime. When he started kicking up a fit about leaving a restaurant recently, a train went by, he watched it through the gate, and left happily. I think that the magic of transition objects is part distraction, part control, part continuity and familiarity, and well, part magic.
Have others found transition objects helpful? What is your child’s object of choice, and what makes them magic for you?
Comments
Liz
I love your phrase “Search for Solving Simon.” I so often feel like my daughter (3yo) is a puzzle I’m trying to solve. We’ve only suspected SPD for the last 9 months, so I’m still learning how to help her. I had never heard of transition objects before reading your post but it sounds like a great idea. I’ve haven’t used an object before but last week I stumbled on something to help stop the fighting to use the restroom between bedtime story and laying down to bed. I decided to be silly and said “I’m a train! But I need a caboose!” (what is it with kid’s and trains?) and then we pretended to “chugga chugga choo choo” all the way to the bathroom. That has worked like a charm! She is now excited to do it and likes to decide to either be the “train leader” or caboose.
Jenny S-A
Our son’s nearly 3 (eek!) and transitions have been hard for the last year at least. We’ve learned that when we have to leave a place, we have something he likes back at the car, like his milk sippy or lovey. At bedtime, it’s his way-too big stack of bedtime books. When leaving a certain mall, where he likes to run around & watch the fountains, it’s a little bit of ice cream from the food court on the way out. Basically, we always try to have something on hand or make sure that we can tell him that the next place we go or next thing we do will be even more fun. Sometimes, there’s nothing that will ease the transition – what he’s doing right now cannot be beat. But we keep trying.
EHCMom
Thanks for passing this on. We struggle with getting out the door and into the car in the morning, and you’ve inspired a new approach. It’s great to have this site to share ideas!
Lalita
I LOVE that caboose idea! One thing my husband is so much better at than me is making things FUN. So often, just adding a little fun into it, like “monster stepping” to a new room, can take all the fight out of the situation.