A few weeks ago, I wrote about all the great women in my life, the supportive and loving bunch of friends and family who love my children just as they are. Today, I want to recognize the men. I briefly mentioned that my Dad is supportive, too, but in a quiter way. I have to come to realize that perhaps his way is not quieter, but rather the way of me and the women in my life is just loud! Women as a whole tend to be chattier and delve into feelings like a tray of cookies. Most men I know are not clamoring to bare it all. Many men feel the need to be strong, which can translate as stoic. It is clear to me now that I have many wonderful men in my children’s lives as well.
My Dad, Bubble as the kids call him, has been crazy about Bud since day one. I don’t know if it is because his daughter had a son, or his Dad was called Bud, but really I think they just clicked on some level. My Mom and I talked things out to a maddening degree from the first day of his diagnosis. That is our way. But there are other ways, and some people need time. I knew my dad was supportive, and he reads the blog and looks at the info I send, but I did not know how much his heart was truly in it until yesterday, though I am not surprised.
I mentioned to my Dad that the therapists used a an Iphone app called peek-a-boo barn during one of Bud’s sessions. A couple days later, I went to pick up Bud after work from my parents house. My Dad showed me his IPad and on it was peek-a-boo barn…and peek-a-boo fridge, and peek-a-boo forest. Next to those apps, he had an icon that took you right to the spd foundation site when you tapped it. He said this way he always has it handy, and if anyone asks questions he is ready.He had been reading up and learning lots more about SPD. I was blown away and very moved by this act of love. I didn’t get to express this to him as Bud was stealing off to their room to sneak in my Dad’s dresser. Perhaps he is reading this now and knows. Dad, I have always adored and appreciated you as a Dad, and as Grandpa you are exceptional with my children. Your patience and love and guidance mean the world. I love that you tell Darling to treat her mother well (I am your darling afterall!), but you love her and are her buddy, too. Watching you and Bud laughing yesterday while he was jumping off the chair was awesome, and I see he is your special buddy, too. Thanks for never treating him, or Daring, as anything less.
My husband deserves a shout out, too. Many of you many remember posts near the beginning of this journy that were stressed and tearful. My husband and I were not on he same page. He was resistant to the diagnosis and not active with therapy. It was all taking a toll on us. I am joyful to see that he has done a 180. He particpates in therapy regularly, and it so fun to catch him using lingo. The other day I came home and he said, “Bud did the faucet himself! First, I used hand over hand simulation, and then he got it on his own!” He may not have read every book I left out, but I am the reader so that was a pipe dream to begin with! He just needed more time. We really struggeld with Darling, but he has grown more understanding and patient with her as well. They still have their stubborn moments, but those two would butt heads whether she was sensational or not! I am proud of the way hubby has embraced SPD and all the treatments to help our children. Most importantly, never wishes for a different son or daughter, but loves the ones God gave us just as they are.
All you superwomen out there are amazing, but today I salute the supermen! From Dads and grandpas who support and take the time to learn, to uncles and cousins who play with love, to syblings who help and friends who never judge. You are doing a wonderful thing for the children in your lives by showing them through example how to accept others, embrace differences, and love unconditionally.