This is a post I wrote on my FB the other day. My kid has gone through one too many incidents at school and I am moving from being protective to downright angry. I am going to be going into the school tomorrow to deal with my child being bullied…for the umpteenth time in his short 6 yrs in school…no, they’ve been very long years. He is so resilient this year, more than he’s ever been but even the strongest child is going to crack under the kind of torment he receives.
So here it is…
My kid is different than your kid.
I like that.
Other kids don’t. Your kids tell him that he’s a F’ing idiot. They say that he’s stupid. YOUR children are whispering in his ear in class that he’s the weirdest person in the world. Your darlings are pushing him down, because they weigh 20-30 lbs more and CAN do it, then they are taking the ball he was going to play with. They’ve done it a lot.
What are you teaching your kids? Do you even care that they are being hateful? You may be surprised that your “good kid” is being incredibly mean. Frighteningly intimidating. Would you do anything if you knew how your children were treating the kids with disabilities? Kids who are different. Kids that just want to be your kids’ friend? Your kids are picking on other kids.
It starts with you…you know that right?
What you teach them is the building blocks they will build upon for the rest of their lives. What you teach them and show them matters.
I know kids are kids and things are going to happen. But when my child is the brunt of cruelty from various children I get to feeling very protective after a few years. It’s a good thing I was taught self-control. I was taught that. I was also taught that if someone is being unkind, it could mean that they are going through difficult times themselves. I am teaching my kids that, often.
So I am praying for your kids. And I am praying for you. Maybe you are in a place where you feel helpless. Maybe you don’t know what to do. So I am praying for you all. I like you. I like your kids. They are amazing little human beings.
I don’t like that they are treating my child hatefully.
And there will not be silence in my corner. No, I can’t let your children hurt my child. It is my job to protect my child. Even if it is from your child…whom I really like. I really hope that they can have a change in heart.
I hope that you are receptive to helping me help my child. Helping YOU help YOUR child.
To love. To say kind things.
That’s what you want for your kids, right? Me too.
Comments
Michelle
This is beautifully written. Thank you!
his mom
I’ve been there. The bully’s choice word this year seems to be faggot. And it is often the “cool, jock kids” with the self-satisfied parents. I finally told my son, “some kids are just dicks.” He laughed and was amazed I would such language. Then I followed up with, “if they are assholes now, they will probably be assholes as adults. It’s sad, really”.
Susan S.
Time to stand in front of your child’s class and explain to all the kids why your child is “different.” And then in the next breath, explain why he is just like all of them (wants the same things, hurts like them, loves like them). Even at 6 years old, kids are smart. That’s the age that my son’s classmates learned that he has some differences, but is basically just like all of them. And they understand it when someone teaches them about how their words can cut like a knife. Sounds like they just need to be enlightened. Maybe a counselor could help with how to talk to the kids? Good luck.
Marcy
Susan, thank you for those words. My child is high functioning and understands a lot. His “disability” is hidden. He is sometimes “normal” and sometimes “not”. Their school has had teaching but is terrible in carrying it out. We pulled our son today because the environment has gotten too dangerous for him. I await the principal’s reply to two letters I’ve sent in the last 24 hours. If only the school and the parents would take some responsibility.
Heather Finnegan
So sorry! Prayers that the other kids and parents “get it” and learn to be better people!
Jenny from the block
Hugs. Such a hard situation. It is so. Impt for parents to not only teach about being kind and such but also to ask their kids lots of questions to see what they are truly about.
Marcy
Thanks to all of you. Support is so important, isn’t it? I appreciate it!
My son’s principal replied and thanfully says that he is dealing with the kids in question. Tomorrow I will meet with him to see what this actually means. My son is so sad that we pulled him on this Christmas season week. We felt we had no choice.
We are hoping that this is a step in the right direction for all concerned.
Thanks again, girls