I am beginning to learn I just need to get things over with sometimes. If I am afraid or anxious about a task, putting it off only means a slow torture until the moment inevitably arrives. If I just get it over with, well, good or bad at least it is over with!

Bud still has to see a neurologist and have his blood drawn for genetic and metabolic testing. I have been dreading both, but the blood draw especially. Bud does not like to be touched, or sometimes even looked at, and just a trip for a well visit send him into hysterics. Plus, he is strong! I worried how they would get the sample without hurting him. I hurt when my baby is in pain like that, be it physical or emotional. I had put it off long enough, so this week we finally went to the lab. I called ahead of time to ask what to expect with a child such as mine, and that helped me prepare.

It went better and worse than I imagined. He was so happy in the waiting room, pacing between the door and chair, playing with the water fountain. As soon as we went into the back  room and he saw the 3 people looking at us, he freaked. He started shaking his head no over and over and crying and yelling. I explained what was happening and that it would be ok. I had him in a bear hug on my lap and one tech held his arm while the other tried to find a good vein. They could not find a good vein, so they checked the other arm, much to his horror. They decided that arm was worse and went back to the first arm, much to my horror. Bud is fighting and hysterical this entire time. Mom is holding it together for him, but so very sad.

They got the needle and put it in, and he did not seem to flinch or cry any harder. In fact, I do not think he even realized the needle. They could not find a vein, my worst nightmare. The techs, who looked about 12, called in the experienced person on shift, an older woman who reminded me of my Mom. She found the vein first try and was so soothing. The blood came ridiculously slow and they could not fill up the vials. On tech said she thought the vein collapsed. They removed the needle and decided they had to try the other arm. Mom had a little trouble remaining tear-free at this point. The experienced woman stayed and did it this time, thank goodness, and the blood mercifully flowed out at a fast rate. Then it was over. I held him tight and praised him and reassured him. Later at home, I broke down in tears.

I noticed that during this whole ordeal, Bud somewhat stopped struggling. He even got quiet for a few seconds here and there. I know in part he was just tired from all the exertion of fighting and crying, but I think it was also because he adjusted to what was happening, and mostly because they stopped touching him. Once the needle was in his arm, the tech let go of his arm. It was just me having him in a bear hug, whispering into his ear, caressing his head (the one form of touching he enjoys). He settled down. When they would touch him again, even just to quickly loosen that elastic thing they tie off at the top of your arm, he would go ballistic. It was the touching, not the needles.

I was relieved to see that when all was said and done, he was ok. I feared he would be traumatized, be mad at me, something horrible. He was certainly not himself, but he was ok. Once we were in the car and I said we were going home, he visibly relaxed. Back to the familiar. At home, we stayed outside to play with the dog, and he smiled and laughed. Whew. It was certainly not a fun experience, but I know now we can get through things like this and it will be ok. Now, unfortunately, we can to wait weeks for the results. Back to slow torture again, but this type I can handle since it will not hurt Bud. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. To all the parents on here; we must be freaking Hercules at this point!

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