It was autism awareness month and since my son’s diagnosis I feel like I have spent a lot of time on that and less on SPD and my daughter’s special needs. I want to change that starting now, so this post is all about Darling and her sensational needs.
Most of us here would agree that one of the main issues we have is with others not understanding. People, even family and friends, thinking things like “SPD is not real. Your kid is just having tantrum. She is a brat. Spoiled. Needs more discipline.” I am fortunate in that I do not have family that says this to me….yet. But with certain family members I can always feeling it brewing under the surface. I see the glances they share. I can tell they think she is just an emotional, sassy girl acting out. And it breaks my heart for her. …continue reading
When my son was diagnosed at 8, it was like “FINALLY! IT ALL MAKES SENSE!” SPD is not something you just “get”, you’re born with it. So all of his past strange behaviors weren’t his choice, they were due to his SPD. So you think you have a handle on it, you know what to expect.
Then your child hits puberty and an becomes a teenager and everything gets worse. Why? Because their symptoms, while they had always been there….lurking below the surface of the other ones, now have come to a head. The anger, the rage, the flippin’ out (or as I call it “being belligerent”), and the lack of empathy. Now granted, my son has always had a problem with anger….and before the SPD diagnosis, we thought of his anger problem as just that: an anger problem.
But now as a 6’2 15 year old, the anger isn’t “cute” or even manageable at times. Its not constant, but when it happens, its not pretty. Very seldom does he actually get “belligerent” (which means to me a type of anger that goes beyond “normal”, that includes name calling, swearing, breaking things, totally out of control, he can’t even stop if he wanted to). Usually it’s just screaming at people. Sometimes it includes hitting his brother (who sometimes hits him first or vice versa). But when he does get belligerent? It’s scary. Its like its not even him anymore. He’ll even go as far to tell me what a crappy parent I am (in meaner words) because I don’t give him what he wants and has on 2 different occasions try to hit my husband. I’ve seen my ex (his birthfather) act like that from time to time (not hitting people though), so perhaps it IS an inherited (or learned) anger issue mixed with SPD? I sense its not actually learned because my ex wasn’t around him enough when he was little for him to just now at 15 start acting this way. I think its total frustration breaking him down with whatever he’s obsessing on and can’t have. …continue reading