“Mommy, I can’t stop…” my son exclaimed in a half-laughing, half- worried voice, spinning and spinning through our kitchen with his arms out wide.

“…I know, sweet pea,” I replied with a half-smile and a heavy feeling in my heart… knowing that’s exactly it – he “can’t stop.”  He swirled and swirled, then assumed his favorite position of the week… curled in my lap, fidgeting, and then finally settled as he squeezed me tightly while I cradled him there.

We’ve had a challenging day.  After kind of a shaky week.  Okay, after a long, rocky week.  Though the first two days of school seemed relatively smooth from the outside, I’ve gradually felt this coming, and hoped I was wrong.  The squeeze – literally! – of my son feeling the pressure of his new routine in the new schedule of the new days in his new school year.  See where this is headed?  As the week progressed his energy depleted, his tolerance vanished and he glued himself to my side… or my lap or my arm – wherever he could be closest to me.  Oh, did I mention that he broke his wrist on the playground at recess on day three?  Yes, a story for another time.  But absolutely a factor in the way this week’s been going.

On days like today, I have this feeling that I can’t quite put into words.  Tonight, though, my son filled in that blank… he curled into my lap and said, “Mommy… things were a lot easier when I was like, two.”  Embracing him as closely as possible to my heart, I whispered, “I know, sweet pea…” and I really do.  Even while I ran thru a list of all the “big boy” things he can do now that he’s not two, after he drifted off to sleep I let my mind wander back… …continue reading