My oldest daughter will be 7 in January and ever since she was born there’s been something not quite right.  She never slept as a baby, and I do mean “never.” I could get her to sleep for 30 minutes at a time if I was lucky unless she was in her swing or being rocked to sleep and hummed to or in bed with me.  My father in law used to pat her bottom and hum “The Army Song” to her just so she would nap for me.  I would hold her in my lap and rock her so fast, and hum to her just to get her to stop crying.  We went through some serious sleep deprivation and we just sort of joked that she was a “busy baby” but I did not know to consider it abnormal in anyway.  She was always alert and started the weaning process on her own she just decided the world around her was far too interesting, and she wanted a bottle instead, she went from walking on her hands and feet in a crawl to a full on run by 9.5 months and was quite a verbal child.  I couldn’t tell you how many times I have been asked if she has ADD or ADHD, the thing is she came out of the womb basically “running”…I don’t think that happens with ADD.  Madison just *is* that way…this is what I have been telling myself until I found out about SPD.  …continue reading

One year ago, we were sitting in a speech pathologist’s office as she told us our son most likely had autism, and then proceeded to list all the things that he wouldn’t do.

The air was sucked out of my lungs. As we left, I called the doctor she said to NOT call, because we detested her that much. I then freaked out in a McDonald’s parking lot, shredding an entire box of McNuggets (box and all) with my bare hands.Much like my life, I’d find pieces of nugget strewn around the car for months to come.

I called insurance. I called to get therapy quotes. I cried, and I prayed. I pushed my husband away and formed a wall around myself and filled it with information. I had patient friends who helped me try to keep everything together.