I have heard more women than I can count complain about what their husbands do or don’t do – and generally the message is that they are not good husbands/fathers.  That’s subjective, of course, but nonetheless, that is the message on blogs, forums, twitter, facebook – you name it.  It’s sad, but it’s true.  Moms complain more than they compliment.  Or at least I think they do.  (Not what you were expecting for a Father’s Day post?  Bare with me.)

How many women – really – do you hear bragging about how their husband ‘gets’ their kids?  How many women do you hear going on and on about how their husband automatically understands how stressed they are and picks up the slack?  How many women out there do you hear gushing over how great it is to have a husband that goes to therapy every week and coordinates the IEP meetings too?  

Yeah, not many.

Now there are exceptions to every rule, for sure. 

Take Alysia’s husband for example.  Although he remains anonymous in her writings, we know he went out of his way to find a solution to their son’s need for intense sensory input in the mornings before school.  And that’s awesome.  But, judging by the comments on her post, rare.

For another example, take Ryan, a SPDBN regular contributor, who decided to take his son for regular fieldtrips all over the eastern seaboard to help him get used to new sensory environments.  From malls to an Indoor Track Meet (what is this guy crazy?), he has dedicated his free time – his weekends – to helping his son learn coping skills.  And I am impressed.  But, this too, judging by the comments, is rare.

And perhaps an even more unusual and rare example would be Erik Linthorst, who took advocating for his son to an entirely new level – he made a film.  And dedicated his life to raising awareness for his son and Sensory Processing Disorder.  Now that is something most husbands can’t compete with, right?

Perhaps these men are the exception – or perhaps they are just the few who are actually getting credit publicly.  Bare with me as I delve into the ‘stereotypes’ of Fatherhood, that I am sure some (most) of the men reading this blog don’t embody, but perhaps many moms reading this think their children’s fathers do.  And, of course, why I think these dads deserve more credit than they are getting. …continue reading