It was coffee with a friend that brought this to the forefront of my mind. She mentioned that she didn’t feel that her family’s experience with special needs was the same as others. She feared that since her family was not dealing with a “serious” diagnosis that she – in some way – didn’t belong to this club of special needs parents. I scrambled to reassure her, to let her know that there was indeed a place for her here.
I hurt for her in that moment, but I could see how easy it would be for someone to feel this way. In the special needs community, there seems to be a need to out do one another. You see it in many forms. Some families with special needs look at the families with more severe challenges – such as aggression – and vehemently argue that such a situation doesn’t represent the majority. You then see some families whose children do have more challenges claim that their family’s situation is harder than another.
What does that do? It divides us. It separates us. It places us into warring factions when what we need most is to unite for the good of our children – for the good of us all. …continue reading
Yay! My baby slept in her own crib for three and a half hours last night! That is the longest the she has stayed there in a very long time. AND… she wore her footed pajamas! Without yelling, or any excessive tugging, clawing and crying.
The Who and What
Kit hasn’t slept on her own in her bed all night since the minute she was born. Yes, even in the hospital, when it was time to settle down for the night, she would cry. We would check her diaper. We would swaddle her. Very tightly, just the way she liked it .We would lay her in that plastic bassinet thingy just like the nurses did. We would try giving her a pacifier, she would just spit it out. Then cry, and cry and cry and cry. Daddy would try and hold her, rock her, sing to her. More crying. Finally I would get ready to nurse her and as soon as Daddy would put her in my arms she would stop! Instant sleep. And I wouldn’t even have to nurse her every time.
She would sleep in her bassinet for about two to three hours in the late afternoon on most days in the beginning. But within just a few weeks that quickly dwindled down to thirty minutes, tops. Nights were worse. We’d nurse, she’d fall asleep, I’d put her in her bassinet. Max time: one to two hours. If I left the room, say to take a shower, she was awake as soon as I walked out. And crying. Until I came back and held her. The only time she would stop crying for Daddy was when he held her up directly in front of the small box fan we had in our bedroom with the fan on low. Some how the air blowing on her calmed her enough to allow me to rinse the shampoo out of my hair and towel off, sort of. But this didn’t work all the time and it wouldn’t work for me. …continue reading