***You celebrate when your kid decides he likes a food, even a seriously unhealthy one, like corn dogs or chicken nuggets. At least it’s protein, you think, I’ll worry about his arteries later. Right now, you’re more focused on getting calories into the kid than on how healthy those calories are. And you just pray those multi-vitamins are doing their job.
***You hope that there are enough nutrients in ketchup to make up for the fact that he won’t touch a vegetable with a 10-foot pole.
***You have taken bribery and negotiation to a whole new level of artistry and expertise.
***When you have to go to a party, you always, always feed your kid ahead of time and don’t even bother trying to get him to eat at the gathering. And yes, you cringe and bite your tongue when Aunt Bertha makes snide comments about how spoiled your kid must be, and that in her day, kids weren’t given a choice, they ate what was put in front of them, because if the kid is really hungry, he’ll eat, all the while reminding yourself that Aunt Bertha never had a kid with autism or SPD, and she has no idea what she’s talking about.
***You look forward to summer with great anticipation, because fresh corn-on-the cob is actually in season, and it is the only vegetable your kid will eat willingly. For whatever reason, canned corn and even frozen corn-on-the-cob are not appropriate substitutes during the off-season.
***Reading nutritional labels has become a way of life for you, not so much because you are dieting, but because you’re desperate to find versions of the foods your kid will eat that have more nutrients and fiber and less sugar, preservatives and colors.
***The thought of feeding your child another meal is sometimes so daunting, you can barely face the ordeal.
***Though your child loves toast and cheese, he adamantly refuses to even take one nibble of a grilled cheese sandwich.
***Food that most kids adore, like mac and cheese, pudding, and spaghetti are not allowed on the table near your child.
***Illogic reigns in your house. Your child does strange things with his food, like eats all the cheese and pepperoni off the pizza, but will only eat the parts of the crust that do not have any sauce on them. When you buy cheesy bread sticks, however, he will dip them in sauce.
***You are so desperate to get your kid to try new food, you actually encourage him to dip it in chocolate sauce. In fact, condiments are practically the main course at many a meal. You regularly thank the culinary gods for blessings like Parmesan cheese, Green Goddess dressing, dijon mustard, and barbeque sauce.
***You envy those parents whose children will eat mundane foods (like soup and pasta) with a vehemence that is surprising. You also have trouble not rolling your eyes at those parents who whine because their “picky” children won’t eat onions or green peppers.
***Parenting magazines make you laugh when they give suggestions for helping picky eaters. The issues these authors address are so minor league, you can’t help but sigh in exasperation. If all it took to get your kid to try a new food was cutting it in fun shapes, you’d have had this figured out years ago!
***Although you promised yourself before having kids that you would not become a short-order cook, you now regularly prepare at least 2-4 different foods at each mealtime, all the while grumbling and cursing under your breath.
Anything you want to add?