That moment…
when the whole world is outside running and jumping and playing and eating…
and the noise level rises…
and the grill sends a smokey haze of smells into the air…
and the crowd descends on the unfamiliar foods with constant chatter…
and you stand behind your child as he sits at the table and folds up into himself…
and you know – you just KNOW – he can’t be in the crowd, the heat, the noise…
and you move inside with your child just so he’ll take one bite before you give him his yogurt smoothie…
and you sit alone at the table to finish your potato salad while watching him quietly drive his Hot Wheels cars around…
and you hear the laughter and joy waft in through the open windows…
and you avoid the looks of others as they walk past those windows…
and you ignore the “Where are they?” and “Why?” questions…
and you remember how you used to long for your child to want to be outside with them and not in with you.
And then… …continue reading
If you are not familiar, we have attempted church with autism.
And though I have never given up hope, I have not been actively pursuing success since.
Today I felt hopeful and maybe even a little bottom of the barrel with no place to go but up. I got myself and the kids dressed for church and thought to myself what the hell, it’s worth a shot.
We pulled into the parking lot at church and RM was already directing us away from the church and toward the attached school cafeteria where she knows that young people like her brother collect there on occasion after school for catechism class. Actually, I am sure she only knows as much as the collecting there part. And oh yes, we have had some tragic drop-offs throughout the last two years when The Boy walked off into the crowd of students and RM was told we were not staying for the fun. But eventually, we could pull up to the curb alongside the cafeteria and she would say, “Bye, Brother! See you in the afternoon!”
So it was only natural that today she would want to go to the part of this place where she knew departure was temporary. Why on earth would she willingly go toward the building that is full of noise and people and music that rattles the ceiling? So I tempted her with the bait of her grandparents inside waiting for her (after I scanned the lot for their car because what a freaking horror show that would be if they didn’t go to church this day). RM flung herself onto the pavement a couple of times, but then saw Bapcia and Papa’s car. Now we were getting somewhere. …continue reading
