I’m really tired tonight. Deeply Tired. My life feels bizarre lately. Sometimes I just hope I haven’t truly become the hypochondriac I felt like as a child. I rarely mention my childhood on my blog. In fact, it’s the ONLY thing that I have never talked about on my blog. I just haven’t wanted to make waves. To hurt feelings… To go too deep. We have grown up since then. Moved on. Lived, and Learned. Forgiven… and tried to forget. Well, some of us have. Bless you for this ability. I have tried so hard. I think I will get to this point one day. Especially as I raise my children. It helps me understand where my parents may have been coming from. Why they just didn’t seem to get it. To get me. And why I just could not get them. I see more clearly now how we all have our struggles. Our Oddities. Empathy is a beautiful thing. Christ has Empathy. I am striving for this understanding. This Love.
Honestly, I had no idea that I was going to write what I just wrote when I sat down. As I said, I am deeply tired. My children are growing up so fast. Every day flies by. By baby is growing up and this makes me sad. But most of the time I am so grateful for the speed. Just to get through Leif’s schooling, this time alone. That is the current light at the end of the struggle. But I am no longer naive enough to believe that life will suddenly turn blissfully easy the day after his graduation. It will just be a different Great and a different Hard. And a different Journey. Looking back at the latest Lesson. And ever-Challenging. …continue reading