JC is a lucky child because he has the most wonderful big brother imaginable. BB is 7 and is the most kind-hearted, fun-loving, sweet child I have ever known (yep, mommy bias). But I realize that God had a plan when he sent JC to our family. He knew that even though it would be difficult at times, and even though my patience wears thin, BB is always there to make JC laugh. He understands that JC has a difficult time with daily life sometimes and he tries so hard to be a guide through the rough spots. He mimics my actions and words “First put your shoes on Bubba, then you can go outside”. He is selfless in his giving and sharing because he knows that JC doesn’t yet understand fully the art of social give and take. And he thinks of his own ideas for therapy for JC. He does all of this without my guidance most of the time. It seems to be intuitive. He just “gets it” and JC is lucky to have such a wonderful big brother.
But, I often wonder how difficult this must be on BB. I know its hard on me and on our family, but from the perspective of a child, what impact is it having?
“Mom, I’m glad I go to school all day so I don’t have to be here to listen to Bubba scream all day”
“I never had therapy, because I wasn’t bad, right?”
“Was I a lot smarter than Bubba when I was his age?”
These are all things that BB has said over the past few months. Each time, I was heartbroken by the reality of what BB must be feeling. It paints a picture of what his perspective must be. JC is an unruly child who misbehaves and isn’t smart because he can’t speak well, he doesn’t know colors or numbers and won’t sit still to read a book. Of course I explain that JC just learns differently or just has problems with speech, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t smart. I explain that he doesn’t go to therapy because he is “bad” but because he needs extra help with how he understands the world. And the screaming, well… That’s something that we all just have to be patient with while helping him find the words to use instead. …continue reading